Let me get this out of the way up front, this one is personal and longer than most of my posts. Most of the time, the posts I make to my blog are focused on education, my learning, the work we’re engaged in at my school, and ways to support learning. Today probably isn’t going to hit on that too hard. If any of you follow me on social media, or you look at my Twitter feed, you’ll see a good number of posts in my past about things related to my fitness. I love to be outdoors, to hike, to run, and when I can’t do those things, I love to workout in my basement. But by far, the thing that has been an almost lifelong love, and the thing I find myself coming back to again and again is my bicycle.

I learned to ride when I was in elementary school, and remember that as a child of the eighties, the addition of a bike expanded the horizons of where I could go and what I could do. First, it was up and down the street, then to other parts of our neighborhood, and eventually riding down to the Village Pantry (sorry Mom, we probably didn’t ask!).

I still remember the old chrome Schwinn with the white wheels that I learned to ride on, then the Specialized Rockhopper that was my ride through most of high school and into college. I also remember an old road bike that my aunt left at our house after college – I tried fixing it up, but quickly realized I was too big for it.

In high school, a friend’s parents convinced me to do a big group ride – called The Hope Ride in southern Indiana. I don’t remember what distance we chose to ride that year but do remember riding all those miles on a mountain bike, there were great snacks at each of the sag stops, and an amazing lunch when we got back to the start-finish line. I was hooked.

In college, I bought my first legit bike. A red Specialized Sirrus road bike with 21 speeds, perfect for getting up and down the hills around Bloomington, Indiana. I rode with friends some in college, but also with my sister, who was probably a stronger rider than me at the time. I still remember a ride we went on one summer day where I thought I was riding better than her, then we turned down a road near the lake with some huge hills. Before long, she’d left me in the dust. I didn’t see her again until I got home. She gave me a hard time that day and for a few days after.

Eventually, I upgraded my bike to the Trek that I still have today. While I have a mountain bike for trails and a hybrid to tool around the neighborhood, the road bike is my go-to daily driver type bike. Most weekends I get up and go for rides, starting at my house and choosing a direction based on the weather and how I’m feeling. And when the weather won’t allow it, I probably have that same bike on the trainer in the basement connected to my Zwift account.

So, on the morning of July 22^nd, when I got up to get ready to go for a ride, it was a routine I had gone through literally thousands of times. It was a beautiful July morning, if anything just a little cool when I started my ride. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I was planning to ride about 35 miles. At my halfway point, there’s a Speedway gas station I love to stop at. I grabbed a coffee and a pop-tart (my favorite mid-ride fuel!) and took a quick break to top off a water bottle. Then, I hit the road for the last section of the ride home. I was feeling pretty good, so when I came to that spot where I normally turn right, I decided I’d go straight instead to tack on about 5 more miles, and a couple of additional hills to climb. In retrospect, that was a bad decision.

On the last big road before I turn into the back of the neighborhood, just a couple of miles from home, I noticed a white car coming from the opposite way. It had its left turn signal on and was slowing. I had the right of way, and everything looked normal at the time. It seemed that the car was going to stop and wait for me to go by.

The next thing I knew that white car had turned right into my path. In an instant, I tried to react, but I was on a slight downhill and was probably going a little more than 20 miles an hour. I hit my brake and swerved, but my bike hit the side of the car. I went over my handlebars and the trunk of the car, landing in the middle of the road just beyond the car. The first part of me to hit was my shoulder, then probably my head (encased in my trusty Giro Helmet), and then the rest of me. Immediately, I knew a lot was wrong. I had pain in my shoulder, my arm, my hand, my wrist, my chest, and my back. I also knew I was lying in the middle of a road, not a very safe place to be. I was able to roll my way over to the grass on the side of the road, but I knew that getting up was not an option.

Luckily there was a witness who saw the whole thing. She stopped, came to check on me, and then called 911. She waited by my side until help could arrive. She placed her hand on my chest and helped me to stay calm as we waited for EMTs. After what felt like forever (although probably only a little more than 5 minutes), local fire department EMTs were on the scene to treat me.

After an ambulance ride, too many X-rays to count, a CT scan, and the help of lots of different doctors and nurses, I learned that I had broken my clavicle, my scapula, my pinkie on my right hand, and 5 of my ribs. Luckily, there was no other internal damage – no signs of a concussion, no damage to any organs, and no injury to my spine or neck. I spent almost all the next 30ish hours laying on my back in a hospital bed. Finally, I was released to come home. When I got home, I quickly realized that simply moving was going to be a challenge for a while. Standing up hurt, sitting down hurt, getting into bed hurt, getting out of bed hurt. Picking something up off the floor was impossible.

All of this happened on a Saturday. Over the weekend, I had so many people check in on me. Texts, emails, phone calls, messages on social media, and more – I can’t tell you how good it felt to know that there were so many who cared.

Now this is the part of the story where I must pause to think about the importance of self-care. And let me preface this next section very clearly – as a leader, I understand every part of the why behind the decisions that were made. Anyone who is an administrator in a school in America knows that the last couple of weeks of July is a crazy time. There are hiring decisions to make, placement decisions, new enrollments, early enrollment assessments, and so much more. Not to mention, over the summer, I had a complete turnover of my leadership team – a new assistant principal, a new counselor, a new Teacher Development Specialist (instructional coach), and a new literacy coach. With all those things in mind, my school needed a leader, and my injuries were likely to prevent me from being able to do that job. My doctors shared with me that I might feel okay in a week, or I might be struggling for 6-8 weeks. Everyone heals a little differently.

On Monday afternoon, a little more than 48 hours after the accident, I received a phone call from my district’s superintendent. She called to check in on me, make sure I was doing all right, and ask a little about what happened. But she also, as a leader, had to have a conversation that was admittedly difficult for me. As we talked about my recovery, and what the doctors shared, she let me know that she was going to be speaking with our school board president about bringing on an interim principal to help lead our school so that I could focus on my recovery.

As a leader, I completely understood why we needed to have that conversation. And a part of me was relieved to know that I could simply focus on recovery. At the same time, I was devastated. I love my job, I love my students, and being at school is among one of my favorite places to be – especially during the hustle and bustle of the beginning of the school year.

But that phone call reminded me of a difficult reality:

You see, what this experience has reminded me of, is that no matter how much I love my job, it is just that, a job. Some people love to talk about how education is a calling – if you feel that way, more power to you. I love my job and I think I’m pretty good at it most of the time. I’m also deeply committed to helping my school be the best it can be to serve our students and community. But that job will never be as important as the other parts of me that exist. I am a:

Husband

Father

Son

Friend

And in my mind, all those roles are a higher priority than my role as a school principal. Now, do I make sacrifices in those areas at times because of the job I have? Sure. We all probably do.

But I know that I can never be replaced in any of those roles. I can be replaced in my job. The experiences of this summer showed me how quickly that can happen.

For a long time, I have shared with my staff that we will never be able to be our best as educators if we don’t take care of ourselves outside of school as well. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Those four roles listed above fill my cup to the max, and while there are a lot of times that my job helps keep my cup full, there are also times that it drains the cup.

My hope is that none of you ever must go through an experience like this. But it’s also my hope that you can take a little bit of wisdom from me – Make sure that you find the balance between the things that are most important to you and your job. My experiences have certainly done that for me!

Remember that while some call teaching a calling, it is just a job. And if/when something happens, we can all be replaced.

This work can be never-ending. I know that I always have something else I could do. But at some point, I must weigh my time spent trying to be the best administrator against the time spent being a person. So next weekend, when you feel yourself being pulled in multiple directions, make sure you do the thing that helps you to feel whole. Because you can never be there as an educator if you aren’t able to be there as a person first.

I wanted to add a brief post-script about my recovery in case you are wondering.

I am almost 6 weeks out from the injuries sustained in my crash. I would say that my finger is completely healed. Most of the time, my ribs feel pretty good, but I still feel a bit of pain if I take an awkward step or a deep breath. There’s also occasional pain when I get into or out of bed – you use your core a lot for those things, and it pulls on the ribs. At my last ortho appointment, my doctor said he was pleased with the progress my shoulder is making. The clavicle is looking pretty good, but the scapula wasn’t quite as far along as he would have hoped. I have follow-ups scheduled soon to find out more.

I missed 2 weeks of work and was then feeling pretty good. I was able to get back to school in time for the first teacher workday, which felt wonderful. I will say that I am still moving more slowly and cautiously. I find that I have to sit down to relax my arm and shoulder. As someone who almost never sits during a typical school day, that’s a challenge!

I still can’t run, hike, jump, or bike outside. But I have been going for long walks around the neighborhood to rebuild my stamina. I’ve also been cleared to ride my bike while it’s attached to the trainer in the basement – there’s less risk of falling! I’m getting reacquainted with my Zwift account and feel good on the bike most days.

There have been a couple times with minor setbacks, but overall, I can feel myself trending back to a healthy place. While I’m not 100% yet, when I compare how I feel now to how I felt right after the crash, it’s hard to even compare!